I’m arguing because it matters


I haven’t found the right time in my weekly schedule for writing, but one of my friend has started blogging and I offered my help, and I gave her a tons of advice…and also got passionate about it. That put bug in my head: “AAAhhh… blogging is so good. It gives so much satisfaction and attracts many good things into my life. I had a blog… in fact… I have a blog! I must continue!”

Aaaaand here I come: sitting on the train and writing my blog again, after 6 months or so.

In the last couple of months I had family issues and blogging was the last thing I was thinking of. I was distracted. It is so easy to get distracted and do other things.

If you focus on something, you can make great results.

So I was about to start a new family and tried to keep the old together. I had some challenges and haven’t sorted out yet, but brought up things to a certain level where everybody is kind of happy… Not easy but you must have a family and know how it works. If you don’t then that’s another struggle.

I can see that everyone has family issues time to time, even people who get on well can struggle. I’m really get on well with my love, my Mrs and if we were just the two of us, then we would live happily ever after, but we are not. We have parents, brothers and sisters and close friends and it isn’t easy to keep up with their expectations. We live here in London they in another country. Distance makes things difficult but sometimes it helps. I guess we can’t vist them as much as they wish, but 2-3 times per year can be enough… Or not?

Some people just don’t get on well with each other, even from the same family, not even talking about non-family members. Who do you argue more? Your close relatives or with people who are not so close? Or both? :) if you do both, then look into yourself :)

The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.

Joseph Joubert

Personally, I don’t really argue with strangers, unless I have to complain about my rights, or I’m dependent on them. Ie. I argue with builders, management companies, insurance and service provider companies, if something is not right. But do I argue with a stranger who sits next to me on the train how he wears his hat? No! Because it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care.

Do I care, who leads the country and how? No, I don’t. I don’t believe that is something I can control. Not even sure that votes matter… we could argue about that :) but it won’t take long, because I’m not that interested. You will argue because it’s important to you and not for me. You would try to convince me that you are right. I would listen to you, you would tell what you want, and you felt relieved… You did let out the steam, and I would probably say: “you are probably right” and I wouldn’t add that comment what I really think: “you are probably right, but may not. It’s right in your world, from your point of view, but I live in a different world than you, with a different point of view and I’m not that interested to argue about it.” So we would stop arguing. Did things change? No. I listened to you, but didn’t agree. You told something, but just helped yourself to let your anger out. You and me are still on an opposite opinion.

It’s hardly worth the effort to me to convince you about my view.

You will argue if it matters to you.

But, do I argue with my Mrs. what are we spending on and why? Of course I do, because it matters to me.

You will argue, if it matters… and what matters really? What is the thing which worth fighting (argue) for?

If you have too many things you would argue for, then you must have a stressful life. Just pick 2 or 3 things are most important, and focus on those. Try sort those out first.

It’s very very difficult to convince someone. Almost impossible. People only convince themselves. You won’t. It has to be her or him.